Shinpai Kokoro Worried Heart
by TRAnimeGal
Summary: One of Kojirou's questions gets Musashi thinking... what if they *were* separated?


"Oyasumi, Kojirou."  
  
"Oyasumi, Musashi."  
  
She felt his back touch hers and his breathing soften. He was still a bit frightened at  
the dark, so on some nights she slept next to him to ease the fear. Musashi often wondered how  
this timid boy could ever be in Rocket-dan; she thought his tough guy act was often a front to  
ensure his self esteem. She didn't help much in that particular department, but it was a way to  
make sure he could succeed.  
  
"Musashi?"  
  
"Hai?"  
  
"I was thinking about something."  
  
"Well, what was it?"  
  
He was shaking like a leaf beside her. He flipped over on his stomach and turned his   
head to face her; she did the same.  
  
"What would happen if we got seperated? Like, if the Boss split us up or if one of   
us..."  
  
"That's never going to happen."  
  
"But what if it did?"  
  
"We don't have to worry about it. Now go to sleep, Kojirou, and I'll be right here   
beside you in the morning."  
  
"I'll try..."  
  
He shut his emerald eyes and tried to fall asleep.  
  
'He worries too much.' Musashi thought to herself. 'But I don't think I've ever thought  
of what would happen if we went our seperate ways. I just... never thought it could come to   
that.'  
  
She was interrupted by a meek voice in the dark. "Musashi?"  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"Would you miss me if I wasn't with you?"  
  
"Of course I would."  
  
"I'd miss you, too. A lot."  
  
"So would I, Kojirou. Now try and go to sleep."  
  
"Fine."  
  
Silence filled the small room up quickly. Musashi stared into the black surroundings and  
continued questioning Kojirou's uncertainties.  
  
'It would never happen, would it? We could never be apart from each other. We're best  
friends, and best friends stay together forever. No. I won't let it happen. Kojirou will be  
by my side all the time. I'll stay with him, and take care of him, and protect him and love him  
with all of my heart so he isn't lonely...   
  
'Love? He's my friend, I can't love him. Friends don't love each other like that.   
Even if I thought of him as more, he'd never think of me in that way. But it doesn't matter,  
because I don't like him in that way anyway. We're like brother and sister, or we were like it  
when we were younger. He won't go away from me.'  
  
She move backwards a few centimeters, but she couldn't feel anything behind her. Her  
heartbeat drummed in her chest like thunder, and her brain became fuzzy. "Kojirou? Where are   
you?"  
  
"I was just getting something to eat."  
  
"Well, tell me next time. I was worried."  
  
"OK..."  
  
'He scared me so much. I'll make sure that he's with me all the time. I will..."  
  
She could feel hot tears rolling down her cheeks, but she didn't know why she was crying.  
She was soon racked with sobs; she clutched her pillow in ever growing fear. She felt like a  
child, a moment she was not used to, a feeling of loneliness that engulfed her soul.   
  
"Musashi? Musashi, are you alright?"  
  
"I'll be fine," she stammered.  
  
She could here him set the plate down on the counter, his footsteps growing ever closer,  
the creaking of floorboards as he bent down. "Sit up, Musashi."  
  
"OK."  
  
Her body felt like rocks as she lifted herself up. A pair of warm arms embraced her,  
and she fell into them willingly.   
  
"Did I scare you? Oh, I'm so sorry, Musa-chan..."  
  
"I don't know! I was thinking about how you'd never leave me, I wouldn't let you, and  
then you weren't there, and I guess... I guess..." She held him tightly and cried onto his  
shoulder. "I don't know, Kojirou..."  
  
He gently rested his hand on the back of her head. She tried to get control of her  
emotions, but all she could do was sit with him and sob.  
  
She used all of her energy to cling to his side. Her head ached as much as her soul did,  
much more than she was used to.   
  
'I have to do it... I have to say it...'  
  
"Kojirou?" she whispered into nothingness.  
  
His voice was silk to her rough heart. "Hai?"  
  
"A... aishiteru."  
  
His grip became a bit tighter. "Aishiteru mo, Musa-chan."  
  
She could feel her eyelids growing heavier, and she sunk deeper into his warm embrace.  
  
"Are you growing tired, Musa-chan?"  
  
She could only shake her head.  
  
"Go to sleep now, and I'll be right here in your arms when you wake up. I promise I'll  
never go, Musa-chan."  
  
He gave her a soft kiss on her crimson cheek. "Oyasumi."  
  
She shut her eyes slowly, and wished on a far away star that she would never feel this  
way again, even if Kojirou was here to comfort her. She was pulled into the land of dreams and  
fell peacefully asleep.  
  
*********** {R} **********  
  
Japanese guide to Shinpai Kokoro: Oyasumi=Good night Nani=what Hai=yes Aishiteru=I love you 


End file.
